Going Nucular
A debate that has been quietly raging in the
Bush administration over whether to accept other countries´ spent
nuclear fuel for reprocessing appears to have been resolved in favor
of going ahead with the proposal. A senior White House official
told the Washington Post late last week that a consensus
has been reached to proceed, but the plan won´t be ready for Bush to
announce in his State of the Union address tonight. Hmm ...
Does anybody else think they smell a hot potato getting ready to
explode in the Oval Office microwave?
Since we´re on the subject of evocative aromas (Oh, and
when aren´t you, I hear some of you kvetching. People, this is
basically a column about trash; if you hear about some that smells
pleasant, by all means let me know) ...
Here´s a nice local-boy-makes-good tale about a
gent from Pittsburgh who wouldn´t be able to smell a hot potato if you
hit him over the head with one.
The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette reports that Dane Summerville, a
diver and mechanic with the Army Corps of Engineers, received a
temporary assignment in New Orleans, and his first day there he
mentioned to a supervisor that he has no sense of smell: "If you have a
stinky job, let me know. I might be your man."
Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding! Did they have a stinky job for him:
Overnight, Summerville became manager of the largest operating dump in
the world, the Gentilly 95 landfill. And if you think that rings
a bell, it may be because you´ve read about the Gentilly here
previously. It´s the place where, among many other things, they´re
clearing out all the fridges full of rancid food from Hurricane Katrina.
Since we´re on the subject of rancid food in fridges .... Just
kidding. Let´s move on to something at least marginally more stomachable.
Hey, look, kids,
Al Gore´s back in the news. The former VP and one-time
president-elect (for a couple hours, anyway) is making headlines at the
Sundance Flimflam-Fest with a film about ... Al Gore. Doing a
slide show. On global warming. With charts.
For me, and I can´t put my finger on exactly why, this conjures the
poignant image of John Belushi as an old man dancing atop his
Not-Ready-For-Prime-Time cohorts´ graves. In black-and-white. In the
wintertime. Sigh.
Ah, well. God bless Al. He´s back, and he´s fighting for something he
believes in. And as a bonus, the story has some quotes from Larry David,
who gets my vote as Funniest Man Alive. We all could use a little
enthusiasm-curbing now and then, no?
Lastly, since we were, somewhere back there, talking about climate
change and fighting for things you believe in, let´s close today with a
story from America´s self-proclaimed Finest "News" Source, the Onion:
Nation´s Snowmen March Against Global Warming. This is a
sad, sad tale. And be forewarned: It ends tragically. A snow-spokesman´s
face slides off in midquote.
Pete Fehrenbach
is assistant managing editor of Waste News. Past installments of this
column are collected in
the Inbox
archive.
Entire
contents copyright 2005 by Crain Communications Inc. All rights reserved. |