I've had huge gas bills in the past, but nothing prepared me for the shock when I opened my Peoples Gas bill Monday night and saw the amount due: $27,933.55. Ouch!

How could that be? I pay all my bills on time.

To make matters worse, there was a separate mailing, a FINAL NOTICE PRIOR TO DISCONNECTION. "If you do not want your gas service shut off, you must pay $27,497.08 before 11-06-06."

And there was this seemingly taunting message: "Good news. Natural gas prices are lower than last year . . ."

The current bill shows a previous balance of $27,497.08; the $404.60 late fee brought the balance to $27,901.68. The grand total included current charges of $31.87, an amount more in line with prior bills.

15 MINUTES ON HOLD

Some people call me cheap because I've been wearing sweaters and socks around the house to ward off the chill. I waited earlier this month to turn on the furnace for the season. I live in a very old house, and I know from past experience to expect winter gas bills that are way above average.

In January this year, for example, the bill for 30 days of heating was $996.02, based on estimated use. But $28,000?

Obviously, Peoples Gas had made a huge mistake, but how?

I was hoping I could talk to a live person who could tell me they had made a mistake and apologize for giving me a pre-Halloween scare, but it was too late to call Peoples Gas customer service that night. However, on Tuesday morning, after five minutes in the hellhole that is the utility's voice mail system, punching in the 13- digit account number, phone number and verifying the building number, and another 15 minutes on hold, all the customer service rep would do is put a note on the account that the amount is disputed, and schedule a new meter reading.

She said, by way of explanation for the exorbitant bill, that the meter reader who came out on Sept. 7 turned in a reading of 00000. The rep said they figured I had used enough natural gas to send the numbers off the gauge -- literally.

How soon for a new meter reading? Nov. 18, she said, and I would have to be available all day, from 7:30 a.m. until 3:30 p.m.

I told her I hoped my gas would not be shut off before then because of another mistake. I told her I don't want my credit rating ruined if this huge, huge unpaid bill is reported to the credit bureaus. She assured me that that wouldn't happen "while this is in dispute." Even so, I'm going to check with Experian and the other shops just to make sure.

I've learned my lesson: In the future, whenever the meter reader stops by, I'm going to take my own reading, and we'll compare numbers.

mstevens@suntimes.com