Tales From the Dark Side: As a journalist covering the environmental wars, I'm learning to avoid parroting the enviro party line that preaches that going green is always the obvious choice for a company to make because it will invariably pay for itself faster than you can say "the polar ice cap is melting."

 

In reality, as reported in this eye-opening BusinessWeek article titled "Little Green Lies," often the return on investment for an environmental project is extremely slow. Glacial, you might say. In fact, some of these initiatives never fully pay for themselves at all.

 

Of course, that hard truth, in and of itself, should never automatically red-light a green project. The environmental good that would result deserves consideration as well. That's the whole idea behind cost-benefit analysis, isn't it?

 

Too often, though, in the cold stark reality of the corporate boardroom, "What have you done for me lately" turns into "Go take a hike." A too-slow return on investment turns out to be the kiss of death for an environmental project.

 

At the top of this piece I used the term "environmental wars." I meant it figuratively, for the most part. But read "Little Green Lies." You'll see that wasn't pure poetic license I was using. There is some realism behind the expression. Corporate environmentalism can be an awfully tough, messy business.

 

Speaking of Messy Business: Remember the recurring bit they used to do on David Letterman where they'd throw stuff off the roof of a building so viewers could watch it smash to bits on the pavement below? I don't know about you, but I found those clips mesmerizing. I ask you: Is there not something deep in the core of the human psyche that compels us to watch stuff disintegrate?

 

Let's test that theory. Take a look at this video web page created by SSI Shredding Systems. Titled Watch It Shred, the page lists about 90 items that you can watch go to pieces in the jaws of one mother of a piece of machinery. Computers, fridges, boats, cars, you name it. They even torpedo a torpedo.

 

Warning: This is compelling stuff. Try to watch just one, I dare you. It'll be quitting time before you know it.

 

Pete Fehrenbach is managing editor of Waste News. Past installments of this column are collected in the Inbox archive.

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