Fiord Explorer: The global warming craze keeps topping itself for weirdness. The latest ripple, a peculiar little fad called climate tourism, has nutjobs (I mean, people) booking trips to hot spots in the Arctic and elsewhere to observe the effects of global warming up close and personal, in real time.

 

Mark this down: It´s a mere matter of time before a tour boat full of global warming thrill-seekers gets sunk by an ill-timed iceberg snapping off of a glacier.

 

A light bulb just went on in my head -- it´s flashing dollar signs. Does anyone have Irwin Allen´s phone number? Wait, never mind, he died. (Probably in a big disaster, heh heh. Sorry. Couldn´t resist.) How about Leo DiCaprio -- anyone have his number?

 

This Just In: While we´re on the subject of climate change and how it´s encroaching on life at the top of the world, this Time Magazine cover story, "Who Owns The Arctic," looks intriguing. And long. So long I haven´t had time to read it yet. I´m past deadline and it´s quitting time, and when I say "this just in" I mean "this just in." Maybe I´ll grab a copy of Time on the way home to read whilst viewing "The War" on PBS tonight.

 

Lead Paint, Jersey Air & Other Eco-Hazards: It seems like forever since we´ve run an Inbox Late Night Green-Themed Joke Roundup, so here goes:

 

David Letterman, Sept. 10, Top Ten List Excerpt: "Top Ten Britney Spears Excuses ... No. 9: I haven´t been myself since Phil Rizzuto died. ... No. 8: Too much soup. ... No. 6: Fighting a nasty case of wig rash. ... No. 3: Um -- global warming?"

 

Conan O´Brien, Sept. 12: "In China, a group of workers who make toys for Disney say they are forced to work 28 days a month, and up to 15 hours a day. A spokesman for the Chinese factory said, ´Look, these toys aren’t going to lead-paint themselves.´"

 

O´Brien, Sept. 12: "Last week prison guards had to use tear gas to break up prison riots in New Jersey. When the tear gas didn’t work, the guards sprayed the prisoners with New Jersey air."

 

Letterman, Sept. 13: "How about this Chinese lead paint on toys? They have finally agreed to ban the use of lead paint on toys. However, they will continue to use it on sweet and sour chicken."

 

Letterman, Sept. 14: "According to a new study, polar bears will probably be extinct by the year 2050. So enjoy eating them while you can."

 

Pete Fehrenbach is managing editor of Waste News. Past installments of this column are collected in the Inbox archive.

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