Deceleration: The Art of Slowing
Down
March 03, 2016
Story at-a-glance
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Cramming more into every hour negatively impacts your
relationships, health and peace of mind
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Giving kids more time to daydream and just be kids may
be better for them in the long run than constant
scheduling
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A philosophy called The Slow Movement can help you bring
balance to your life and focus on your true priorities
By Dr. Mercola
No one would argue the fact that the pace of life has rarely been
more frenzied than it is today. It’s not just that we’re busy. Time
seems to be constantly of the essence. As Carl Honoré, author of the
book “In Praise of Slowness,” quipped, “These days, even instant
gratification takes too long.”
That’s clever, but not too many are smiling because,
unfortunately, it’s true. You can’t spend more than a few minutes on
social media without encountering a meme lamenting the fact, such as
Mahatma Gandhi’s quote, “There is more to life than increasing its
speed.”.
Why is it that whenever there’s a so-called “idle” moment, we
often feel a need to “redeem the time?” How many of us, while making
our coffee in the morning, look for something useful to do to in the
meantime?
Honoré asserts, “As we hurry through life, cramming more into
every hour, we are stretching ourselves to the breaking point.”
Besides causing
stress, he even suggests that our compulsion to do more in less
time may have become an addiction, an idolatry of sorts.
Redeeming the Time
Writer Richard Paul Evans observed, “What a culture we live in.
We are swimming in an ocean of information, and drowning in
ignorance.”
Technological advances mean we can travel from New York to
Nigeria in hours as opposed to months. Information on any given
topic any time of the day or night is now at our fingertips —
literally.
That means life should be easier and less complicated, right? No?
It’s a perplexing conundrum a TIME article explored:
“We complain about the lack of time, yet we constantly
seek stimulations that detract us from our main goals.
When we live in an age where a diverse palette of
stimulations lures us — ‘media-drenched, data-rich,
channel-surfing, computer-gaming age’ — it becomes a chore to
focus on anything longer than 30 seconds.
There’s something unsettling about the constant craving
for the new without any regard for the things we already have.”
For most, multiple things go on simultaneously: taking care of
people, making sure the bills get paid and finding a place to park
while at the same time keeping your
cell phone charged, remembering your son’s game, a doctor
appointment and buying new tires for the car.
We’d describe all these as important, but it’s like the plates on
spinning poles — we have to watch them like a hawk to make sure none
of them start wobbling, or, worse, crash to the floor.
What do you miss when you spend most of your waking hours trying
to fit more in? Inevitably, it’s
relationships, which suffer when in our hurry to “get things
done,” we sacrifice what’s truly important. It’s been termed “the
tyranny of the urgent.”
It’s important to recognize the chasm that can divide you from
your family, friendships and community when
getting more done becomes the goal — even when it’s for worthy
endeavors such as humanitarianism or volunteering.
Remember that while much of your activities may be driven by
“things” and even ideals, people are always more important.
What Does ‘Living Fast’ Look Like?
A recent survey in Britain, entitled “Life in the Fast Lane,”1
compiled the revelations of 550 adults aged at least 25 regarding
their down time — and lack thereof. (It’s probably not much
different in the U.S.) Here are some of the findings:
One in five respondents said they took work home to
finish over the weekend |
Half said that about half the time, they felt stressed
on weekends |
More than half of respondents admitted to sailing
through traffic lights on red |
58 percent opt to drive even short distances rather than
walking |
62 percent reported a reduced interest in sex |
61 percent estimated spending somewhere between 15 and
30 minutes eating their evening meals |
Nearly 80 percent admitted excessive alcohol consumption |
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Six out of every 10 of those surveyed reported that while their
weekends were spent on shopping, household chores or catching up
with loved ones, they really wished they were doing nothing. Many
said they suffered from
sleep deprivation.
One of the most telling disclosures, however, was that nearly six
out of 10 admitted feelings of “missing out” on something — they
just didn’t know what.
Kids on the Fast Track — Our Fast Track
As an adult, as much as you may be weary of the pace, you may
often end up pushing your kids to go faster, as well. Scientists
agree that for kids, play time is learning time, but observing it
often makes adults nervous.
Not only do they figure that more education and diligence can
only be good, they also have a niggling feeling that if their
children aren’t signed up for art, violin or tennis lessons by age
3, they’ll not only miss out on opportunities, they may ultimately
be unsuccessful.
A New York Times article2
quoted William Doherty, Ph.D., a family studies professor and
director of the marriage and family therapy program at the
University of Minnesota:
“There are certainly good reasons to offer our children
some of these experiences, but there are more negative ones as
well, if we rely on them to make us feel like good parents, or
if we think that arming them with a myriad of skills can
guarantee their later success in life.
Doherty said parents’ insistence that their children be motivated
toward every conceivable opportunity is a “displaced fear about the
collapse of the future.”
“That does not mean that some stimulating activities
outside school are not important, but equally critical is a warm
and well-connected family life … Sometimes for the sake of child
and family balance, you have to say no to intensive activity.
And we have to move away from the idea that if we do not
start children early, they will not reach their full potential.”
Smelling the Roses — aka Daydreaming — May Make
Kids Smarter
Arguably, kids who are given time to do what they feel like doing
at least part of the time are less stressed than those whose days
are scheduled into 15-minute increments.
Before the wonders of
television and video games, most kids spent their free time
playing outside, reading, messing around with friends or just
daydreaming.
Although research shows daydreaming is crucial for optimal brain
development, some adults mistake it for either
attention deficit disorder or laziness. A Psychology Today
article3
tackles this mindset:
“There's actually a substantial amount of research
connecting daydreaming in children with creativity, healthy
social adjustment, and good school performance ...
There’s also research that says that children who don't
get enough down time to daydream or who fill in their down time
with too much television produce works that are ‘tedious and
unimaginative.’”
The article asserts that children left to their own imaginative
forays come away with enriched social skills, such as empathy for
others and an ability to play longer on their own because they’ve
been given time to explore their own playful alternate realities.
“It may seem odd or a paradox, but children (and adults)
can actually focus on their daydreams, and some of
these daydreams may be more inventive and ultimately more useful
than the task at hand. So let's not be quick to throw the baby
out with the bathwater.
Daydreams are a highly creative form of mental engagement
and a necessary way for children — lacking
real-world experience — to process complex
information and emotions.”
The Art of Deceleration: Adopting the ‘Philosophy of Slow’
Oscar Wilde said, “All things in moderation — except moderation.”
That seems to sum up the age we live in. But the New Testament puts
that statement in perspective: “All things are lawful for me, but
not all things are beneficial.”
You may recognize yourself in children reluctant to go to bed
because they don’t want to miss anything. If you’re lucky enough to
get wiser as you get older, however, you learn what’s good for you,
and one of them is the
right amount of sleep. The wise actually do the things
they know are good for them.
You may also learn the term “savor.” It’s an art that takes time,
and taking time means going slower. Ironically, a concept called the
Slow Movement is gaining momentum, its aim being to address “time
poverty.” According to the website,4
the Slow Movement:
“ … Supports a growing cultural shift towards slowing
down. On this site we discuss how we have lost connection to
most aspects of our life and to the natural world and rhythms
around us, and how we can reconnect — how we can live a
connected life.
The Slow Movement is a worldwide movement to recapture
this state of connectedness. The movement is gaining momentum,
as more and more people recognize their discomfort at the fast
pace and disconnected nature of their lives.”
Personal and organizational advisers at Create the Good Life5
define their efforts as advising to “clarify, empower and inspire:”
“The main tenant of the Slow Movement is that by taking
the appropriate amount of time to experience the various
activities of our lives, we are able to get in touch with what
is deeply satisfying and fulfilling.
It is important to note that the Slow Movement is not
about doing things slowly. It is about finding the right speed
with which to do something in a way that values quality over
quantity, long term benefits over short term gains, and
well-being of the many over the few.
In the long run, many Slow Movement proponents would
argue that slow can ultimately be faster, and certainly better,
as we make decisions and act in ways that are more thoughtful
and considerate than purely efficiency driven processes.”
Perhaps the best way to remedy a pace of life that’s gotten out
of hand would be, as life coach Blaire Palmer6
put it, to stop "‘doing’ all the time and start ‘being’ some of the
time.”
Honoré concluded that when you recognize that
stress, schedules and juggling priorities are making you feel
overwhelmed, you can slow the momentum of your life by focusing on
your true priorities. At the end of the day, it’s about living in
the moment instead of constantly anticipating the next thing, having
“your head in the game,” and ultimately, it’s about balance.
© Copyright 1997-2016 Dr. Joseph Mercola. All Rights Reserved.
http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2016/03/03/slowing-down.aspx
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